So after many problems with my DNS server settings, my site is now back up and running properly! Yayyyyyyyyyy! Soon you will be able to read my hyped up non-brilliance again very soon.

Have fun everyone.

Marcel

… Of my extremely large penis…

Well, that’s not entirely true, I love most “…ators”… Elevators, escalators, movators, or basically anything that will reduce the amount of physical activity I am required to partake in. On a related side note, I also LOVE aligators… Not because of the physical activity aspect btw (of course I’d run if I saw one and it was eyeing my balls), but because it’s tasty… Mmmmmm aligators…. Mmmm dead animals…. Hmm, it’s dinner time, cool!

Have fun everyone!

So you know about where’s Waldo right? Well I just noticed that each time walk around or go out or basically do anything, I notice girls like Waldos. But instead of searching endlessly for each, I instantaneously notice ALL of them the second I open my eyes… Amazing eh? And not only do I see all of them, I see details of each as well. For instance, after noticing every women, I auomatically focus on the one with the biggest boobs. Now keep in mind, this is all unconscious behaviour whereby the entire process takes all of about a half second. It’s amazing how the human mind works. Or in this case, mine.

Also, I damn well LOVE warm weather.

Have fun everyone!

Marcel

So upon asking a good friend of mine if she had been reading my blog, she exuberantly claimed that she would not because I sounded like a “15yr old boy!”… PLEASE…. I sound at least 16yrs old. 15yr olds wouldn’t be as acutely aware of the world around them as I am. Hence, I’m Galileo during the height of the catholi church… Wait. That wasn’t a very good example. I dont want to be underhouse arrest for my geniusness… What else would I do but eat and masturbate? Is there anything else that can be done? No I didn’t think so.

Anyway, talk about a rambling post. I’ll stop now and let ou off the hook. Are you glad? No? That’s ok I’m sure one of the next 1000 posts will make youchuckle at least. I hope anyway…

Have fun everyone.

Marcel

That’s right people. That’s right.

So at my job I have to help some really strange people with electronics and tech stuff. Today this guy (who WAS nice at first but wayyyyy too forthright and pushy) was asking for some help with some labellers. I was helping him and the conversation turned from “I need to make some sashes for a beauty pagent” to “I love giving deepyhroat and would definitely do it for you”… !!!!!! Now normally if a hot girl (I say “girl” in the sense of not a guy. I don’t like saying “woman” because it just makes them seem older than they are. Not that older women aren’t hot of course. What do you think the term MILF came from?) were to say this to me two things would go through my mind. 1, “Wow you probably have herpes and no way in hell is my penis going to ever be in danger”, and 2, “How is someone hot like you into a guy like me?”. Well needless to say this time a hot girl was NOT in my presence making these comments. It was a darker (not black, more brownish/whatever that was) guy who couldn’t take “NO” for an answer.

So somehow during our conversation he mentioned he liked my smile, that I was “sexy” and that he was bi and that if I was ever curious he would love to give me a blowjob. Wow! I have never had a gay/bi/really annoying guy hit on me so severely before. Normally if I’m hit on by a guy I’m like “thanks man, I’m flattered but I don’t really swing that way.” And it’s true. I figure that if a gay guy finds me hot then there’s gotta be some women who would think I was as well. No matter how few and far between they may be.

Anyway, like I said, normally I would be flattered, and at first I said so. But then the more I said I wasn’t interested and that I wasn’t “bi” (oh he asked me, twice!) the more he kept hitting on me and saying how he gave great blowjobs and etc etc etc… Holy fucking shit. Take a hint! NO!

I probably should have said your making me uncomfortable please stop being a pushy douche, but nothing like this has ever remotely happened to me before, so I didn’t know what to do. My god that was sooooo uncomfortable. Also, at the end of the conversation he was like “I’ll be back here for sure”. In my head I was thinking “for fuck sakes if I see you here one more time I will seriously considering poking both my eyes out with rusty forks… If the initial trauma doesn’t kill me, the related tetanus probably will be painful enough to block all memories of him out of my mind.

Wow. What a weird day. Apparently I attract gay guys for some reason. Most of whom have been nice, but as I found out today, some are definitely not. WTF is wrong with this world. In case everyone who reads this doesn’t know:

My penis only likes the female species (notice how I didn’t just say female “women”)

If you have a penis, or have had a penis, please think what you want, but please don’t touch. It’s just not the same.

Thank you.

P.S. Please apply for the Catholic Church instead. I hear they blame all of their problems on gay men for some reason. Because you know, that is the reason for them being perverted douchebags (this doesn’t apply to few good ones) Or of course you could just run for a Republican political position in the states fighting for a hterosexual only marriage law while you sing gods graces as you fuck your gay hooker in a public washroom.

Whatever floats your boat.

Have fun.

Marcel

You know when you’re watching a movie or even something like The Sopranos and all the young Italian women are really really hot? Well, hold that thought. The YOUNG Italian women are hot. Sure there is the odd MILF who is absolutely smoking, but overall, once they get married, they go from extremely hot to looking like that little brat in Willy Wonka who turned into a blueberry and had to be rolled to the juicing room. Not sure why that happens, but it’s an accurate ignorant comment.

Back to my story.

So I’m on the way to work, and on the bus are these “hot” young Italian girls (I say girls despite their ages of around 21, mainly because they are acting like annoying douchebags). I live in a predominantly Italian area and as such this is not surprising. However, what happened to hot women WITH nice racks? Like come on, yeah these girls are wearing 3 pounds of makeup, yeah they have about a pound of jewellery in addition to their 20lb oversized “Gucci” purse that is the size of an army duffle bag. But come on. Since they really really really don’t have good personalities (Which btw makes up for a LOT) they could at least have some nice boobs for me to distract myself while they are bickering and yapping about absolutely nothing. Also, I just thought I’d point this out, whenever they “laugh” (or whatever the hell that is) they assume this awkward pose that I can only compare to a baby bird begging for food from it’s mother. Their necks are elongated and forward, their mouths almost wide open with their heads on a around a 60 degree angle, and just like baby birds, have absolutely no nice chest (yeah I’m still bothered by that)… *shudder*

I miss the girl next door look, whose NOT an idiot, doesn’t have to have boobs, and has a great personality. Kinda like Lana Lang from Superman… Oh yeah, and doesn’t require that stupid looking 55 gallon monstrosity on their arms.

Have fun everyone.

Marcel

So I was closing last night at work at right about an hour before we officially closed this lady comes to talk to me about her desktop computer that she is carrying by her side in a Metro reusable bag… Because you know that is the favourite way for mountain goats to carry their machines…

Anyway she goes on and on about something about how her friend messed up the Internet connection somehow. I could barely understand her as her “accent”/voice was very low, barely audible, and interspersed with the words “the lord Jesus Christ told me” and “do you know the bible?” and “angels are guarding me” etc etc etc. Holy fucking shit! In case you don’t know I’m not a religous person. I dont really care what people believe in as long as they leave me alone, and don’t push their beliefs on other people. Don’t get me wrong, I think the idea of a “god” who created everything, and is constantly watching over us is juvenile at best. But I do realize that everyone has a choice and should never be forced to think or do anything they do not want. However, I do think mild nudging away from bullshit religion is a good thing for reasons like: “evolution is not gods will”, “god told me to do this”, priests molesting little boys and having to do “penance” (according to the pope anyway) and NOT being arrested as they should be, is something that must be abolished. In other words wake up and smell the little children that are being molested… I must say however that although I definitely do think religion is bs, I do realize there are still many good people involved in it. Of all the molesting priests there must be many who do a good job and are selfless each and every day. Too bad they get a bad name from all the jerks

Anyway, as I was saying, the customer kept mentioning god, kept telling me how great he was and simply just kept rambling on and on and on and on and on. All I really wanted to say was ” Please shut the fuck up as i can’t understand you and you are being more annoying that a land bound piranha on steroids!” Needless to say I did no such thing. Mainly because she was nice and meant no I’ll will, and mainly because I would never actually have the balls to do that to someone (who didn’t really deserve it anyway). Also, there would be the unpleaseantness of getting fired. You know, minor things…

To make a long story short, she left, wasted about an hour of our collective time and just really annoyed me…

Shit happens.

Have fun everyone.

Marcel